The Daily Grind

Between sunup and a couple of hours before noon, when everyone looks crisp, chic or rumpled in their work getup, one can admire the elaborate, rushed or distinctively absent grooming that went into the ensembles cat walking up and down the metro platforms and cars.  Depending on seat availability and travel distance one can always spot riders sleeping, texting, listening to music, talking on the phone, reading newspapers, applying make up, fidgeting with clothing, reviewing papers, eating or drinking, etc.  There is always some manic activity going on.  The activities however are distinctly individual and isolationist, unless riders are metro pooling.  Commuters go out of their way not to make eye contact with anyone, minding their own business; especially in the morning when many of them are bleary eyed and work is not the primary adventure of choice. But one occasionally sees fellow watchers who unobtrusively observe their brethren.  It seems the later the time, the fuller the cars, the more tempers rise and often culminate at Union Station or other similar major hubs where masses of people either eject themselves from the same doors or propel themselves violently into the throng of tightly compressed bodies.  Suffice it to say; when one makes it to his/her stop at a relatively decent time with body and soul intact, then the first real accomplishment of the day is done!

Around 10 AM, one can pretty much tell that the morning commute is over.  Throughout the city, the imprint of lipstick and teeth on thousands of recyclable and Styrofoam cups, soda cans and remnants of breakfast edibles are ubiquitous in overflowing trash bins. Morning meetings and routine work set the stage for the discombobulation process.  As the morning turns into day, coiffures become askew; clothes are wrinkled and creased even more from too much ergonomic sitting. Shirt tails may already be untucked, hoses ripped, shoes scraped.  Hands are dry from too much Purell.  By lunch time, it just gets worse.  Ladies who didn’t have the requisite bathroom breaks due to excessive conferencing exhibit make-up degeneration, commonly: bleeding mascara, coagulating or smudged foundation, and lipstick deficiency.  The men are not much better.  For some reason they are more prone to food and beverage spillage and the acquisition of unidentified substances on elbows and the fronts and backs of their trousers.  It gets progressively worse for everyone as the day goes by, with a sudden spike in energy reserves a few minutes before and after clocking out for the day; the former spike attributable to the joy that comes with the thought work is over; the latter girding up for more metro battles. 

Rush hour in the afternoon is a wee bit more electric than the morning commute.  People are a lot more impatient because they are trying to get to their second jobs, families, or schools.  The more tolerant metrophiles tend to be tourists or locals destined to meet up with friends, indulging in some form of tribal ritual involving loud music and alcohol.   The rest of the populace are the ones who have been toiling and grinding for the last 10 hours or so, the majority of them not in a good mood and the metro a likely target of their ill humors. 

To add insult to injury, by this time of the day, commuters also have to deal with the state of the metro cars that have gone through a significant metamorphosis since the morning.  Literally a million or so commuters have worn and torn the vinyl seats and the rubber floors throughout the day.  A word to the wise - Commuters beware!  Gum maybe lurking everywhere.  You’re lucky if it’s already hard like a rock, but if it’s still gummy, your person or your belongings are fair game.  At least with gum, you know what that is. It’s trickier if you encounter UMO, which endearingly stands for unidentified metro objects. UMO can be any solid, liquid or gas matter that is occupying the same space as you are.  Ever wonder about that oily film on the glass?  Well, that can be from somebody’s forehead, cheek, or greasy hands.  And then again, maybe not.  From dead skin cells to bodily fluids and gastric substances on seats, newspapers, hand holds, window panes, etc., make sure you look where you sit, where you lean, and most definitely where you grab!  And for crying out loud, make it a point to shower when you get home.  You don’t want to bring that stuff to bed, do you?

All things considered, the second most important accomplishment of the day is surviving the after work hours commute.  Despite the trials and tribulations of a typical commuting day, DC metropolitan patrons can’t get enough and will come back for more over and over again the next day!